Description
PRE-ORDER: ETA MID-LATE JANUARY
Local Egg Dealer Kitchen Towel - The Chicken Mafia Has Entered the Chat
Listen, we need to address the underground egg economy happening in backyards across America. And this chicken? This chicken is RUNNING IT. She's got the goods. She's got the connections. She's got eggs for DAYS, and she's not afraid to use them.
Introducing the kitchen towel that finally gives backyard chickens the street cred they deserve. Our Local Egg Dealer Kitchen Towel features the most hustler chicken you've ever seen—surrounded by fresh eggs, rocking overalls, and serving up that farm-fresh attitude with a side of sass.
Here's why this towel is about to crack you up (pun absolutely intended):
🐔 The Bossest Chicken Ever – Look at her. She KNOWS she's got the best eggs in town. That confident stance? That's the energy of someone who controls the local egg supply.
💗 Pink Retro Lettering – "LOCAL EGG DEALER" in bold, vintage-style pink text that screams 1970s farm stand meets modern farmhouse chic.
💪 180GSM Flour Sack Cotton – Thick, absorbent, and ready to handle whatever your kitchen throws at it. Unlike sketchy dealers, this towel is 100% reliable.
📏 Generously Sized at 18" w x 28" h – Big enough for real kitchen work, funny enough to make everyone who sees it laugh out loud.
🔄 Internal Hanging Loop – Display this comedic masterpiece proudly. Your guests NEED to see this.
Perfect for:
- Backyard chicken owners (you KNOW who you are)
- Farm life enthusiasts with a sense of humor
- Anyone who's ever bought eggs from their neighbor
- Easter and spring decor that's actually funny
- Gifts for farmers, homesteaders, and egg lovers
- Making your city friends jealous of your farm connections
This towel is for:
- The chicken lady (affectionate)
- Homesteaders with attitude
- Farm-to-table enthusiasts
- People who understand the black market value of fresh eggs
- Anyone who's ever said "I know a guy" about eggs
The Vibe:
- Farmhouse humor meets street hustle
- Cottage core with an edge
- "I have chickens and I'm making it everyone's problem"
- Retro farm stand aesthetic
- Backyard farmer pride
Conversation Starters: "Where do you get your eggs?" "Oh, you know... I know a local dealer."
Warning: May cause sudden urges to get backyard chickens, start an egg business, refer to yourself as an "egg dealer," and use phrases like "farm fresh" and "straight from the source" excessively.
This towel celebrates the unsung heroes of the breakfast table—the backyard chickens keeping America's brunches bougie and our omelets organic. It's funny, it's functional, and it's absolutely perfect for anyone who takes their eggs seriously (but not TOO seriously).
Add to cart before this dealer sells out! 🐔🥚✨
FLOUR SACK COTTON DETAILS:
- 180 GSM Flour Sack Cotton
- With flour sack cotton yarn and looser weave, is known for its ability to absorb liquids efficiently, making them effective for drying dishes and surfaces.
- The tightly woven construction of flour sack cotton prevents it from leaving behind lint or streaks on dishes and glassware.
- Despite their lightweight nature, flour sack towels are remarkably durable and can withstand frequent use and washing.
- They are designed to last for years with proper care, making them a long-term investment for your kitchen.
Description
PRE-ORDER: ETA MID-LATE JANUARY
Local Egg Dealer Kitchen Towel - The Chicken Mafia Has Entered the Chat
Listen, we need to address the underground egg economy happening in backyards across America. And this chicken? This chicken is RUNNING IT. She's got the goods. She's got the connections. She's got eggs for DAYS, and she's not afraid to use them.
Introducing the kitchen towel that finally gives backyard chickens the street cred they deserve. Our Local Egg Dealer Kitchen Towel features the most hustler chicken you've ever seen—surrounded by fresh eggs, rocking overalls, and serving up that farm-fresh attitude with a side of sass.
Here's why this towel is about to crack you up (pun absolutely intended):
🐔 The Bossest Chicken Ever – Look at her. She KNOWS she's got the best eggs in town. That confident stance? That's the energy of someone who controls the local egg supply.
💗 Pink Retro Lettering – "LOCAL EGG DEALER" in bold, vintage-style pink text that screams 1970s farm stand meets modern farmhouse chic.
💪 180GSM Flour Sack Cotton – Thick, absorbent, and ready to handle whatever your kitchen throws at it. Unlike sketchy dealers, this towel is 100% reliable.
📏 Generously Sized at 18" w x 28" h – Big enough for real kitchen work, funny enough to make everyone who sees it laugh out loud.
🔄 Internal Hanging Loop – Display this comedic masterpiece proudly. Your guests NEED to see this.
Perfect for:
- Backyard chicken owners (you KNOW who you are)
- Farm life enthusiasts with a sense of humor
- Anyone who's ever bought eggs from their neighbor
- Easter and spring decor that's actually funny
- Gifts for farmers, homesteaders, and egg lovers
- Making your city friends jealous of your farm connections
This towel is for:
- The chicken lady (affectionate)
- Homesteaders with attitude
- Farm-to-table enthusiasts
- People who understand the black market value of fresh eggs
- Anyone who's ever said "I know a guy" about eggs
The Vibe:
- Farmhouse humor meets street hustle
- Cottage core with an edge
- "I have chickens and I'm making it everyone's problem"
- Retro farm stand aesthetic
- Backyard farmer pride
Conversation Starters: "Where do you get your eggs?" "Oh, you know... I know a local dealer."
Warning: May cause sudden urges to get backyard chickens, start an egg business, refer to yourself as an "egg dealer," and use phrases like "farm fresh" and "straight from the source" excessively.
This towel celebrates the unsung heroes of the breakfast table—the backyard chickens keeping America's brunches bougie and our omelets organic. It's funny, it's functional, and it's absolutely perfect for anyone who takes their eggs seriously (but not TOO seriously).
Add to cart before this dealer sells out! 🐔🥚✨
FLOUR SACK COTTON DETAILS:
- 180 GSM Flour Sack Cotton
- With flour sack cotton yarn and looser weave, is known for its ability to absorb liquids efficiently, making them effective for drying dishes and surfaces.
- The tightly woven construction of flour sack cotton prevents it from leaving behind lint or streaks on dishes and glassware.
- Despite their lightweight nature, flour sack towels are remarkably durable and can withstand frequent use and washing.
- They are designed to last for years with proper care, making them a long-term investment for your kitchen.
